Well, I wrote this some 2 months ago, but didn't post it as I was feeling very strongly abt this issue and at that time, one shouldn't post things...
boli hui baat vapis ni aa sakti, par likha hua blog to aa sakta hai :P
".........
Lotsa things going on in my mind.. so what can be better than writing a blog n know the views of people one considers friends.. A bit confused, so please help me out...
Is it not right to have expectations from your friends???
If its right, it hurts when they break. And they do break and you get hurt :(...
If not, whats the difference between a friend and just an acquaintance.
I am the one who always says that if something is hurting you about someone, "Go and talk to him/her about it and matters would be solved".. But times, its just not possible to do that...
......"
Well... Usually, I am blogging on being happy, treating life simple n beautiful.... Ahhh.. I guess, I should read my previous posts n I'll be fine :)
And hey, pls do leave ur opinions.... Though that matter is over due to which I wrote this post but your advice will come handy on some other chapter of my life :).
yup, thr r xpectations n dey ll hurt 4 sure..
ReplyDeletebut u seriously cant do nything..
sometimes talk helps, but sometimes its better to keep mum n let d things happen there way.. coz its much better dan makin situation worse with havin a verbal fight :P
well, its called LIFE in short..
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeletethe qstn here is To have expectations or not!!!!
ReplyDeletei knw i cant get a soln.. par haan getting to know views wud be nice
This is actually a topic for which you cannot get a direct answer...
ReplyDeleteEXPECTATIONS!!!...If you have a very good friend, then you should expect him to do at his best, and I think he should expect the same, unless and until, you do not have such a bond, then you can-not call that person, your best friend...but the same thing may not be always true, as in, one person may think, one to be a good friend, and other may not!!!...
hey!! let me tell you what I have experienced in my life so far in terms of expectations.
ReplyDeleteThere are 2 kinds of people in your life
1) those from whom you expect-friends
2) those from whom you never expect-acquaintances
In first case, I have seen that when you expect, sometimes your expectations are fulfuilled which makes you happy and sometimes they are not fulfilled which makes you sad. When your expectations are fulfilled you tend to expect more and at the same time you tend to do more for that person. So, now if that person doesn't fulfil your expectations you are hurt hurt. But see that person might be having a reason to why your expectations were not met. Just think and be in the shoes of other person from whom you were expecting.
What I believe is if you are expecting something and you dont get it, give that person couple more chances, may be that person is too busy with other important things that the person is unable to fulfil your expectations. Its not like if that person wanna hurt you or something.
Also you should stop expecting immediately if a person is not meeting your expectations. I AM ASSUMING you only expect those things from a person which you are willing to do for that person without blinking an eye. In that case its best to let that person go. No point in doing stuff for a person if that person is not willing to return. Find new friends. I am sure you will find plenty considering your friendly nature ;-)
Second types are acquaintances from whom you dont expect anything. And if they do a tiny miny thing then it will totally elate you from top to bottom. But i guess these things are important too, makes you realize if you do a little thing for a not so close person or a stranger, that can make a person happy. A little effort on your part can give happiness to someone:-)
To your question, should you expect or not... i think its quite natural to expect.. its just that the more closer u get to a person u tend to expect more:-)
Lil Correction-->>Also you should stop expecting immediately if a person is not meeting your expectations after giving couple of chances to that person.
ReplyDeleteu knw anchi there r times when u expect then u feel bad 4 ur expectations falling flat on ur face ..
ReplyDeleteits not wrong 2 expect but when after a point when u c tht things arent being reciprocated u should b able 2 move on, this is cald being mature .. just a part of growing up u see...
u knw its very easy 4 an aquantance to look so aluring at times when u hv just had this bad expectation phase with a friend ..but the thing is v keep different beam balance for both hence the two cannot be compared ...
u should try nd keep ur self occupied at all times.. this battle of expectations has no defined rules..
no1 is right no1 is wrong ..v just have diff perspectives in diff situations in life ..
its said that grass is always greener on the other side.. but u knw in this expectation tiff u always feel tht u did so much and nothing reciprocated ..
again dear no1 is right no1 is wrong ..
there's one more interesting fact in this.. every individual feels they r d ones deceived or left alone .. there'll b diff testimonials for each individual's
veracity ..
its complicated u knw..its life :)
Its a hit topic these days.. :)
ReplyDeleteWell ..Mr Anonymous ( the one wid the lonnng comment)..has written very right..
"if you are expecting something and you dont get it, give that person couple more chances..
and then..if still you are getting the same result..
Time to move on :) "
but the point is:'moving on' is not easy. You just can't forget the person .. who was imp to you..
I myself remain so dubious abt this..
crazy topic aanch :)
I guess..
Exectations and Closeness with a person .. are in direct proportion to each other.. both rise and fall together.. making you feel happy and sad.
hey..yeh bhi toh hota hai .. if you get more thn you expect ..even thn you dnt like it. ???
ufff..
DJ
b4 writing comment.. i wud like to knw these mr./ms anonymous who beat n break my record of long long comments :P
ReplyDeleteabt expectations, this may sound stupid or unrealisitc but with practice i've started controlling its switch. i can turn it on n off whnevr i wish to :)
so its not like i expect more from frnds n lesser from acquintances or anything like ths.. u knw, the pt is not qty of expectation or even qlty of it but its always like u expect n it grows when earlier expectations r met n bcm lesser if earlier expectations not met but one shud take care that it doesnt hurt to an extent that u miss "other important" stuffs or other things which ppl might b doing arnd u to make u happy.. :)
ag
maine toda anki ka record... yay!!
ReplyDeleteyay???
ReplyDeletehmmm
Amit Sareen or Rupali Sharma????
nitin n MJ ke beech mein kaunsa anonymous hai.. samajh ni aaya abi tak mujhe :(
ReplyDeleteThe focus of the post has been shiftes 4m "xpectations" to "whoz d anon?? :P"
ReplyDeleteab mein anonymous ho gi .. :O:O
ReplyDeletej/k !!
oye aanch ... apni baat bi to hui thi expectations pe .. yaad aaya ???
nahi aaya to mahi anch ko peetne usko yaad aajega :P:P
so the mystery is finally solved ppl :)
ReplyDeletespectrum mein se hi koi hai.... jiska yahan apne naam se cmment ni aaya....
batao kaun??
lekin kaun??? umm dp???
ReplyDeleteyesterday i realized dat even v make our relationships worse by expecting things.. n expecting monetary kinda things or wat u can make count..
ReplyDeleteif we do things, den we always expect it to be returned in quantifiable things..
n dat is d biggest mistake..
if v b able to c beyond dat, n see other things in return, like love or respect or may b true feelings, may be all our worries ll vanish..
may be u can never count dat d love or pain ur friend felt. n dis is much more dan wat u expected for..
@nups.. no :), socho aur kaun bacha :)
ReplyDelete@anony,
baat to ek dum sahi boli.... par as anony kyun boli :(
@All
ReplyDeletelast anony was nupur
and the mystery anonymous was..... strange .. nobody even took her name while guessing...... Ms Megha :) :)
wo actually baad me i gueesed ki megs hi hogi :)
ReplyDeleten yup, main to har baat sahi hi bolti hoon :P, hee hee
@nups
ReplyDeletebaat toh sahi kaha..
But It is easier said thn done!!
I guess aisa relationship agar ho sakta hai toh its only in between parents and their child..
yaa...koi bahut hi bda saint hoga..
remember... there are very few selfless acts :P :P
last comment was by me :)
ReplyDeleteDP
laga tha mujhe... par thnks for clearing the confusion :) :P
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeletenothing bad in expecting :)
ReplyDeletecribbing when those expectations aren't met is what causes an issue..
i have expectations based on my priorities.. but priority list of my friend would be altogether different ... which they expect me to respect..
also if u expect then first be ready to meet their's